The Dregs © Rebecca Chapa May 2008
Ev’ry party has them, you all know the kind
First to get there they drink your good wine
You don’t know where they came from
Without an invite
Yeah they’re the dregs
They’re at every tasting
They mooch all the food
Monopolize winemakers, they’re really quite rude
And then they have the nerve to give attitude
Yeah they’re the dregs
Dregs ya know what I’m saying
Dregs drink all your Champagne
It’s such a shame
We’ve got the dregs
They’ll drink your La Tache but bring Yellowtail
At every event they’re drunker than hell
They’ll even use your name for a reference as well
Yeah they’re the dregs
Dregs ya know what I’m saying
Dregs drink all your Champagne
It’s such a shame
We’ve got the dregs
Some of you may think you’re immune
But you who inspired this tune
Unless your name is Jancis or Hugh
I’m pretty sure you’re a dreg too
Dregs can be winemakers that overvinify
They can be educators and those who just try
And don’t forget all those sales guys
Yeah they’re the dregs
Masters of Wine and Sommeliers
Retailers Writers, You’d be amazed!
Wine Critics are the worst I’m afraid
Yeah they’re the dregs
Dregs ya know what I’m saying
Dregs drink all your Champagne
It’s such a shame
We’ve got the dregs
We’ve got Dregs
RebeccaChapa.com 
I am one of those ‘posers’ who attends every trade tasting in the Bay Area. I get into these events posing as either a restaurant wine buyer, wine educator or wine ‘consultant’. It’s a great opportunity to schmooze with people in the trade, taste a lot of wine and sometimes, eat some decent grub.
I have a lot of questions I need to ask those pouring the wines. I want to know about the terroir of the vineyard, the type of oak barrels they use, how much time in wood the wine spent and other trivia. I need to know the birthdate of the winemaker, whether the grapes are harvested by right-handed or left-hander pickers and whether or not the fruit is sorted before being processed.
I ask brilliant questions, sometimes. “Oh, your winery is called Calistoga Cellars. Where are you located?”
“You make Cabernet and Chardonnay. Could I try your, uh, Sangiovese?”
“Is your methode champenoise sparkling wine fermented in the bottle?”
“Is your Charmat process sparkling wine bottle fermented?”
“Your Meritage is a blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Cabernet Franc? No Nebbiolo?”
I shake my head up and down as though I’m actually listening to you, but then I might ask a totally stupid question which you’ve just answered, mainly because I like to hear myself talk. Oh…and I need for you to know I’m a real wine expert.
“Oh, is your Niebaum Coppola Claret made entirely of Claret grapes?”
“When do you think they’ll put Dom Perignon in a can like your Sofia sparkler?”
Yeah, it’s gonna be a busy tasting season once September hits. I’m working out to get in shape. I’ll probably run into you at a tasting…that is, if you attend these things anymore.
Rebecca, this is beyond the beyond — should be mandatory viewing for every wine education class in America!
Thanks! It was something welling up in me for many years 😉