Marfa Manifestation

27 04 2021

So my first night spent in Lil’ Pinky was so serene! I sat at my little diner table with some wine and felt completely happy and at peace. I started to wish I could stay another day, but what would that entail? I’ve made a ferry reservation to get the car to Nantucket, I may have shave time elsewhere. What about Austin would I skip it? I started to obsess over the whole thing. This wasn’t a responsible decision to suddenly add a day. I kept googling different options, but then I stopped.

Jasmine’s words echoed in my head. Pause, listen to your gut, don’t over analyze. So I decided I’d see if Pinky was available and if so I’d stay and figure the details out later. And I began again to be present and enjoy my night there rather than obsessing over next steps.

I had a very restful sleep despite the mournful trains that roll by. They didn’t really bother me at all. I woke to the bright dawn and a cacaphony of birds and mourning doves. I eased into my day with my usual routine, three rounds of Wim Hof breathing, then writing my three The Artists Waymorning pages and then shower followed by a cold shower although for some reason I couldn’t get the hot water to work and rather than fuss around just took an exhilarating cold shower. I lounged around in my room in the gorgeous green serape fabric robe and enjoyed writing my blog. I eventually got a coffee and was trying to upload the blog photos and the videos weren’t working, so I decided to go to town. I thought maybe I’d mail some of the spices home so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed by them on the next few legs.

Marfa is literally so tiny that I passed the USPS a few times finding myself at the town building and getting all turned around, then Google tells you to go around the block rather than just U-turn. Seems like I needed to get off my phone and just look around instead of trying to be guided. Got a shipping box and some stamps and went to the grocery where I was thrilled to find my favorite Mexican mineral water, Topo Chico, and picked up some Zapp’s crawtater chips, my favorite New Orleans chips!

Tried to go to a thrift store but it seemed closed. Googled consignment stores and found only one open. Started to look for lunch and nothing was open, yelped, googled etc. and found myself at a loss. Looks like I could go to the Waterstop again or Marfa burritos. I liked Waterstop and the atmosphere, but I had all sorts of excuses not to go.

Too windy, it’s probably the same menu as dinner which was good but pricey, I hate going to the same place twice while traveling, etc. the brain was processing overtime and I literally felt my car being nudged over as I was passing a d found myself parked in the same space as the night prior. I said at loud to myself, “OK I guess we’re going here!”

I went into the restaurant to grab a menu and was delighted to find it was pink and a totally different menu than dinner. I figured I’d try to do some writing later so out of character while on “vacation” I didn’t have beer or wine but I got a green lemonade. Had cucumber and herbs in it, pretty tasty. I opted fir the 1/4 roasted chicken and some fries because I wanted to see how they were with the tahini sauce they mentioned, and the chicken and fries came out fast. This $9 plate was huge and beautifully adorned with watermelon radishes. All in pink and green hues.

Meanwhile a gentleman had sauntered in and sat at a four top behind me. It was still pretty empty, before noon. There was something immediately familiar about his voice to me, as if I knew it really well. It kind of sounded melodious like Cee Lo Green, but it was also the banter that intrigued me. He was talking about the pink Supermoon, grounding and manifestation. At one point I couldn’t help but turn and look over my shoulder. The waitress asked if I needed anything and I said I was good. Not exactly sure when but at a certain point we started talking across the patio and the gentleman invited me to join him at his table. I moved all my food and stuff over and sat across from him.

Sometimes you just know you’re exactly where you need to be at the right time. Here I was staying in Marfa for no apparent reason, but have a “chance” meeting with a perfect stranger. There was something resonating with his energy and mine. It was magnetic and seamless how we interacted. It was like he was a shiny glinting energy that could not be ignored. He spoke about everything I’d written about in the blog I had just finished that morning. He reiterated everything Jasmine had laid out for me! It was an incredible message from the universe. He said to call him Crow. And he said crows are tricksters.

The familiarity I had with his voice, demeanor and mannerisms had me immediately at ease and the conversation was flowing. It seemed to be on another plane, we spoke about manifesting what we need, being deserving and mist if all being thankful and showing gratitude for these gifts. That had been my affirmation that morning as well, the words “Thank you” are the most important in the universe.

We spoke of communing with our ancestors and how important that was and I told him I’d my vision that I’d had that my ancestors were surrounding me and holding me. Telling me that it was ok. Acknowledging my past traumas and telling me, “We are sorry you had to go through that but we’ve got you now.” Holding me tiny childlike hand in theirs and comforting me as I broke free of these shadows and pain only to become childlike in awe of the universe again. A complete paradigm shift of which I’m in the midst of experiencing.

Crow is a Virgo, I’m a Sagittarius. We spoke about past lives and the idea that people in your tribe come and go and you’re forever reconvening. Death is as beautiful as life. We talked about how I let my father’s death shadow me instead of embracing its beauty. How I’m finally allowing myself to lift that weight off my shoulders.

At one point he left the table and said he was getting something for me. He came back to the table and placed a nice sized oval shaped piece of pyrite on the table. Also called Fool’s Gold it’s a good stone for grounding, protection and abundance. So funny because I’d been looking for a crystals in Sedona but had been overwhelmed and found it so confusing! He also had a square box he set in the table and began to look through it.

“Ah here it is!” He said as I moved from across the table to a seat adjacent to him to be closer. He placed a gorgeous carved Zuni fetish bear in my hand. I immediately started to cry. “You’re going to give this to me?” I couldn’t believe it. The day before I had seen some great carved bear necklaces in El Paso and asked the guy at El Paso Connection if they’d had any of just the carvings. I collect these bears and even wear a silver bear around my neck at all times. And here was the perfect bear being delivered to me from the universe and this incredible soul I’d met. This bear was a gorgeous reddish color reminiscent of the rocks in Sedona but with blue eyes.

I popped up from the table and zipped out to my car to trade him a Virgen de Guadalupe sand dollar I’d painted and one of my Day of the Dead sand dollars. He gave that one to our server. We talked about lost things and he went back to his car to grab a St. Anthony pendant his friend Eugene in Oregon had given him. It was a keychain and included in it was a piece of the relic. Eugene called him a few minutes later.

I couldn’t help but laugh thinking that I’d almost ruined this encounter by leaving Marfa too soon. We paid our bills and decided to continue our conversation back on the porch by Lil’ Pinky. We were just so I tuned with each other on a spiritual level. He brought out a special copper cup and I took the Tequila horn out for the first time in the trip. I had some El Tesoro Anejo and took some from his cup and he drank some from the horn, more as a ritual or an offering than to get drunk.

We talked for awhile more and then he asked if I’d do him the honor of being on his new Spoon podcast that his agent has him doing. I was thrilled, here was my chance to get my messages out to the world. I suggested we do the taping inside the trailer because the wind was whipping around so much.

He was an adept interviewer and it turned out mire like an interview than anything. He went in on me being a songwriter and I found myself not only answering his questions with depth, but I found myself suddenly in the position of BELIEVING myself. It was almost a magical dream state I was in during this whole meeting with him. I could really believe that I’m a songwriter. I AM. I could really allow myself to believe what I’ve been touting for a week since it came to me, “The universe is my hammock”. I’m utterly supported and honestly I deserve to do whatever I feel compelled to do. This is my job. I’ve been a writer forever, since I was a child, for lifetimes. I truly believed that Crow was sent to me in that moment in Marfa to remind me of this. I cannot deny it any longer!

So when he asked me if I would indulge him and the audience with a song I did. I played and sang Carpe Diem for the world. I was playing a song I wrote in a trailer in Marfa, Texas, my dream come true. “Well I can’t tell you where I’m going, I don’t remember where I’ve been, storm clouds seem to be blowing, I’m walking straight into the wind. I feel just like an apparition, a pilgrim in purgatory, on the way to the next Mission, seeds to sow and crops to reap.”

The wind was blowing and we said goodbye maybe I’ll see ya later and the incredible confluence stayed lingering in the air for a while, a magical few hours where time stood still and two connected souls reconnected and reminded each other of their purpose. This all sounds weird afterwards right? Like there’s this passionate connection but in a very different level. Some may read this with the lens of a romantic encounter but it was nothing of the sort. A logical mind might find this dangerous and my monkey mind obsessed for a few minutes chiming in loudly with all sorts of accusations! You let him in the trailer! He could have poisoned your drink! He knows where you are staying! He could have taken your computer! He knows you have a guitar! You’re traveling alone. That bear isn’t stone! All sorts of nonsense. I put the monkey back in it’s little box and shut the lid.

Trust. You have to trust the universe is doing things in your best interest. Jasmine too had said it, trust your intuition! So I didn’t let the magic go, I didn’t let logic tarnish my incredible experience and the beauty of confluence! I had absolutely manifested this entire experience, I intended to have a magical Marfa day and it had played out like a movie I had scripted. More lyrics from that song, the bridge actually states it so clearly!

“I won’t let logic keep me shackled, lines on my face can’t bind me down, a mortal resurrection to tackle, crazy as that may sound.”

Thinking back on the experience I can’t totally explain it. I feel like there was a trick that the universe had played on me, pulling my guard down completely so that I could experience this magic. The feeling of exhilaration and knowing that someone was on the same level as you and finding out that you’re in exactly the right place at the tight time. It has happened before… the time I met someone from Malta in a bar in Bordeaux and I knew I was following my path, the time I spoke with Tomas on the Camino (2018) and he foresaw and told me of what I think was a prophecy of the events of 2020, the moment in New Orleans when I was gifted a Mardi Gras coconut from the owner of the Candle Light lounge, shortly after Tomas Bermejo passed and a day after I’d heard of the passing of Brendan,

Later in the afternoon Crow came by with a huge piece of amethyst with quartz inlaid in it to give me to protect me on my ride. He was dressed up ready to attend the pink super moon installation that he said may or may not be happening due to Covid and the overcast skies. We said goodbye a second time, I’m pretty sure he will pop up again sometime with another shiny object to bring me, as crows do. I felt like the magic in both of us had receded a bit on this second meeting. It just seemed more normal.

I communed with a hummingbird who was showing off, probably doing a mating ritual for me. But before his display he sat on a desert shrub motionless for a long time. It struck me that hummingbirds are almost always moving. I’ve been seeing a lot of them lately… this one allowed me to get super close and observe it sitting there. I wondered what its message for me was. Looking back, I now see. The pause. I was taking a pause in Marfa, listening to Jasmine’s recommendation. There is beauty in the pause!

The next day on the way through Texas i hit one mini spurt of rain, not even enough to wash the Marfa dust off the car. It just dappled the hood. It happened just shy of the town of Ozona, and then stopped abruptly before the exit. I took this as a sign. As I was walking to a thrift shop I opened Instagram a d I found out that a friend, Tomas Estes, passed away. Another Tomas, not Thomas.

Tomas left us Sunday, the night when I allowed myself to say yes. Yes I am going to pause here in Marfa. Yes I deserve this. Yes I can do anything I set my sights on. I am meant to take a pause. Listen, trust.

I came to find out later that evening that Tomas, who founded Tequila Ocho, had participated in an agave experience in a Marfa in 2019. Also a Virgo like Crow. And there we were toasting him unknowingly. I feel like Tomas was there nudging me. Experience the magic. Allow yourself time. I’d scribbled a note while driving just at Ozona… it says “rain dappled the windshield at Ozona, is that why it’s called that? Not enough to rinse the Marfa dust off the car. Spirit guides, Spirits guide.”